Terraria bosses ranked by how good of a room mate they would be (reasons in desc.)

REASONINGS

Moon Lord: literally wants to destroy the world

Solar Pillar: crawltipede

Skeletron +Prime: literally put a curse on a homeless man, gave the clothier amnesia

Dread Nautilus: defensive asf in arguments because he reflects your projectiles

Eater of Worlds: nasty asf, never showers, gets mad if he ever has to leave his room, eats all your leftovers

Mourning Wood: name is literally just a dirty joke, doesn't take anything seriously, doesn't even drop anything that cool

Destroyer: Literally just EoW but he's clean and educated

Ogre: big and nasty, mid drops, forgettable

Ice Golem: would make the thermostat wayyyy too cold and is just rude

Betsy: procrastinates so hard she literally doesn't come until the final wave of the Eternia Crystal thing. Chores would never get done.

Pirate: literally just a guy. He's a pirate so he would steal from you.

Pumpking and Ice Queen: fun at parties and does nothing else. Probably rude.

Queen Bee: kind of annoying to fight

Vortex Pillar: annoying ass ranged enemies

The Twins: probably funny to listen to when they have conversations, but they dogpile you in arguments and meatride each other

Sand Elemental: hot asf but makes the thermostat too hot and probably leaves sand everywhere

Duke Fishron: he's a duke so rent is covered but he's probably a frat guy who doesn't clean up his beer bottles

Stardust Pillar: overstays his welcome (replicates enemies)

Everything in neutral: irrelevant and boring and/or were taken out of the game/mobile-only

Mothron: kinda cool but she's a freak who gives birth in public.

Lunatic Cultist: probably really fun to have a conversation with and is kinda hot but he's like an overzealous Mormon. one of those guys who makes everything related to his religion/politics.

Golem: literally just stays in his room and doesn't bother you unless you bug him, but his room is a mess and it WILL stink up the apartment

Eye of Cthulhu: kind of a stalker but generally not that bad to deal with, only shows his teeth if you're already being mean to him

Brain of Cthulhu: can fix any problem you have ((cause he's smart)) but he probably leaves brain juice everywhere and might be pretentious. he tries to confuse you in-game so he's probably a rage baiter who would rearrange all your furniture.

King Slime: will bring his hot wife ((queen slime)) around to hang out. respects your space ((only shows up if you explored outer third of world)) and only shows up if you kill his subjects. Is a king so he can cover expenses easily. The guy who gives you a ride everywhere with a smile on his face ((drops a mount)).

Goblin Summoner: hooks you UP in early hard mode with good drops

Everscream: only shows up during Christmas so you'd have 11 months out of the year where he's just not there

Nebula Pillar: cool and unique set bonus for armor, least annoying to fight, best color scheme. the room is probably nicely decorated and clean. also, brain sucklers 😉

Queen Slime: probably hot or at least is pretty. gives the vibe that she keeps the house/apt clean and nicely decorated. Married so she won't bother you much cause she has things to do. similar to King Slime she'd also be willing to drive you around places.

Empress of Light: protective of wildlife. Only messes with you if you hurt her pet butterfly. Pretty. Probably decorates nicely. Not a pushover so you can respect her.

Plantera: hot, probably smells good. Only messes with you if you break her bulbs. Is so important there's literally a whole section of the game called "post-Plantera".

Wall of Flesh: holds up good and evil so he's an upstanding guy. Only attacks you if you literally murder a guy. Rumored that it's the Guide's "true form" so he probably is the one whose been helping you out this whole time. His fight is a DPS test for Hard Mode so he's probably just trying to protect you.

They are the room: it's a pirate ship and a UFO lol