Can I Beat Terraria With Animal Cruelty? (master mode)

Can I Beat Terraria With Animal Cruelty? (master mode)

have you ever regretted something you might have heard of the mini shark take a minigun a shark and just shove them together and it works somehow awesome right so I had this idea what if we did that for the whole game just like tortured live animals for power oh you think they’re not alive look we live in a world where sharks do just fine outside of water who’s to say this little guy isn’t aware and watching as we smash its body into chunks of stone and a disclaimer to get PETA off my ass this is a game don’t actually make a mini shark in real life you sicko even though that’d be like really cool if there’s a quick preview we get maybe 1 or 2% of all the items in the game and we’re playing master mode not going to be easy so let’s start the game then hey look tools but those aren’t animals nonsense we’re getting rid of them so our inventory is empty our first goal is to make it not that cuz we can’t really do much without tools you can’t break blocks or trees this isn’t Minecraft our fists are made of fists not titanium so what can we use the gist is beat the game with only animal things and in the spirit of cruelty some animal things like summons or wings don’t count we’ll talk rules more later on when it really matters but there’s actually only one set of tools we can ever use notably the reaver shark a pickaxe which yeah you use by flailing its body into hunks of metal so you get that by fishing in the ocean okay great how do we fish fishing needs a rod and bait for a rod we need at least wood and for bait we need a bug net sold from the merchant which needs both a house and money and yet here we are with an empty inventory so like what do we do well we can find wood and chests I guess need to explore then desert nope corruption nope well left or right it’s a 2D game desert I guess god damn it stop finally no vulture oh great we’re walled in and nothing from this chest figures guess we have to do the corruption then and here we meet our greatest adversary yet a gap no actually i don’t know how it’s so hard dude I’m pressing the button how this game is really weird with slopes apparently fine just screw the running start god damn it oh wait wow that one worked and all this for a chance to find wood damn these flying brain tumors are still chasing me and here we’d find our second greatest adversary a pond ice water slows you down so these guys we need to run away from yeah nope jesus this sucks but eventually we get it oh nice a cave yoop here we find our greatest tool yet single cobweb no this is actually really good cuz we can break pots with it and then get the cobweb back by standing on it but we need wood this cave has nothing else get past the pond again oh neat another cave some rope i guess that works wow that’s That’s it oh my god more that’s a really good cave guess that’s it though so when you think of a house what do you picture maybe a peaceful cottage an elegant mansion perhaps even a humble trailer but chances are you don’t think of this and neither do I but the game however is fine with I made it too small god damn it it’s okay it’s okay we still have more wood [Music] so these jail cells do apparently count as houses need one for the guide then another for the merchant oh wait we need 50 silver for the merchant oh we have some stuff to sell can we get another NPC for the money demolitionist but then after a couple minutes of nothing happening I realize uh the demo man needs the merchant and there’s no other NPCs we can get now well that’s great but there’s one last option for us the pots they can have some money oh wow that’s actually not bad very not bad damn it can’t get past that sand do we have enough though 48 out of 50 wow thanks i can store my coins by throwing them on the ground come on just a few more pots all right that’s that’s enough come on move in damn it it’s night now i guess we just wait then like the whole night game play all right we made it out and finally we get a bug net and luckily enough it’s raining so worms will just appear we like worms they’re bait neat god damn it why are you there all right we’re ready to fish I guess to the ocean oh that’s far away all right I’m glad that happened well we have rope now damn it we still suck damn it i fell dude the same spot all right finally the ocean i don’t have any blocks i can’t defend myself damn it we were right there all right daytime finally we can fish here’s how fishing works you left click then you left click again and you get an item great now do that for a few hours straight hey bombfish we can get more wood now this is my life now oh nice the sawtooth this works as an axe pretty much right after the swordfish despite being called a sword it’s really a spear oh that’s a great accessory we can’t use ah finally the pickaxe now we’re pretty done but there’s one more thing we need it’s the one movement accessory we’ll get in the whole game and you don’t need the ocean for it so I move somewhere else turns out this thing is rare it said that this game can actually read your mind to figure out the exact thing you’re looking for so it can give you everything except that yeah that seems to be what’s happening like genuinely nothing i guess we’re going to be here a while so let’s properly go over the rules then the name of the game is animal cruelty so the rules are simple first animals are all we can use real animals so no monsters or mythical nonsense and live animals or at the very least whole animals and also our usage must be cruel so say wings they don’t actually hurt anything to use them so they don’t count and also summons don’t count not cuz it makes the challenge too easy because like look these guys do what I want but they do what I want how they want to which makes them suck but it also means they have some free will and free will is not cruel enough for my standards generally we’ll decide what’s allowed case by case with these rules but anyway back to fishing we have a lot of bass that’s great that’s exactly what I wanted from this i have been left clicking for 2 hours yes 2 hours and finally after all this was it worth it what this does is let us jump a bit higher yeah that’s it that’s all we get for the entire game for reference normally you’d have all these items to let you run fast and fly and all that nope we get a single jump boost we have to fight every boss in the game like this are you excited i’m so excited for our future but well the future is now finally 3 hours in we’ve earned the right to begin the challen Oh hey what’s up oh it’s PETA wait you’re telling me I can’t do this i just spent 3 hours getting a pickaxe i Wait I Well this sucks hey you know what what’s the worst I could do put me in jail for life serving the death penalty let’s do it anyway to beat this game you have to kill bosses the main one ahead is the wall of flesh but there are a few other ones to give us more things first things first a proper base tear down these miserable prison cells so we can move them somewhere else now we can get to business and business means life crystals which come from caves we’re going to need all the health we can get cuz what’s next is going to suck the obstacles of the past are no more oh it’s a dead end anyway all right all of our caves suck guess we’re doing the jungle that goes great we got ourselves a musket too not for use but for the arm stealer which gives us the mini shark now we can defend ourselves 1% better but only 1% our first life crystal ah leave me alone stop also hook pretty much our only real form of fast movement apparently use a live squirrel on a string to latch onto things what i I’m a ninja [Music] all right maxed out that wasn’t so bad but follows however with our one accessory we’re ready for our first boss like every other playthrough we start off with Skeletron yeah this is actually the easiest useful boss gatekeeping a sick weapon let’s see how this goes no yeah that was that was great i would like to do a little bit better though since we’re stuck with our broken legs I set up some rails so we can hook and try and move left or right this kind of works out yeah we still suck though [Music] [Music] eventually i kind of get the hang of it until he starts shooting at me god damn it did his arm just leave yeah it’s just gone dude the head still has defense i can’t do anything all right jesus there it is now the other hand dies so he shoots a lot faster these things move weird they’re hard to dodge especially with broken legs well that was better but still sucked i don’t want to talk about it but should we get close that is we both get close [Music] that That counts i’ll take it seven attempts and this is one of the easiest bosses we could do amazing exciting thrilling even now we unlock the dungeon which opens up the shadow key it’s a one in three chance per chest so you’d think we get it pretty quickly right right yeah one in three my ass no mercy now we get to hunt down shadow chests in hell thank the moon lord for bombfish you know we’re never going to get anything that negates fall damage why didn’t that work so now we can find the howling bow which like look at it it’s a bat so this is a one and fire from shadow chest so you think we get it pretty quickly right right guess we need another goddamn montage all right that was eight somehow less well this thing pierces shoots fast and does high damage but can’t aim for [ __ ] which kind of makes it perfect for big things let’s try it out next up is queen bee so we can use the skin of a bee as armor funny enough this armor is for summoners so its usefulness is near zero but its meme potential is near infinity and it does give defense which is better than not defense apart from you know not being able to move this doesn’t actually go that badly not great but not badly first attempt we win but that’s not enough for all the armor so we need to do it again damn it 82 health next attempt yay we’re done so that’s actually the easiest boss we’ll ever do now we’re ready for game progression the wall of flesh is a wall that chases you across the world and also shoots lasers pretty much our only horizontal speed is from our hook which is also our only vertical speed kind of hard to do both of those at once [Music] the wall gets faster at lower health and it quickly outruns us all right this sucks normally you can win by just running in the opposite direction but we don’t really get to run we can get him low but all I can do is get a huge head start in the beginning to the point where we just don’t see the boss anymore welcome to Laser Simulator I guess yeah this is the fight that’s all there is [Music] so we eventually wear down its health but it wears down mine too damn that was better though nothing to do but try again we’re so far away we can barely hear the lasers jesus those get fast it’s catching up and I am sucking but it’s so low too 58 58 health that’s two hits away one two then the fight will be over that’s all it would take but no 1% this time as if that’s any better but finally yeah no i thought I beat it that time too oh 4% we’re getting worse ah yes man god always came down to the wire now the spoils wow we can put on one more accessory that’s going to be great for us oh it’s you again you’ll send the police if I don’t stop violates 30 federal regulations i look I’m too deep into this now i can’t just quit you should have told me at the beginning oh wait you did right well live and learn i’m finishing this though and now with our grand achievement the game transitions into hard mode which means everything we’ve done so far has been easy mode so now we have new bosses to hunt for progression and also a few new things we can get let’s start with that so how do we get that stuff it’s more more fishing it’s more fishing more fishing we can get one weapon from the corruption this is worse than last time dude I filled up an entire chest with random [ __ ] none of which are the thing we need i You know what i’ve had enough let’s try the hollow there are two fish weapons we can get the other one is there you’re probably bored of seeing the fishing and so am I my patience has been bled dry see if we can play the stupid game without them you can also get armor made out of the skin of a spider to get that we kill spiders at least that part’s straightforward this is also summon armor so none of these effects do anything except for defense cool let’s try our first boss fair enough i guess somehow I didn’t learn my lesson from that so I try again this time we survived for about five more seconds so that was pathetic you know you’re supposed to be able to like fly by now i believe I can all right fighting in unfair terms has no chance let’s take this [ __ ] into the sky well we’re safer but the probes suck night spans 7:30 to 4:30 9 real life minutes and he’ll just ditch us once that time’s up so we can’t just hide we actually need to do damage all right all right this has no chance fine we’ll get this stupid fish wow oh there it is only took about 12 years of my life our first real hard mode weapon shoots these bubbles they do pretty solid damage the weird fish are exceptions to monsters cuz they’re peaceful until we yank them out of the water to squeeze their special powers out of them let’s try destroyer again handles the probes a lot better we don’t really have a good way to hurt it halfway through night we’ve done jack [ __ ] and then I forget I don’t have wings fine we’ll get the other fish and see if it helps ah ah hey you know that item we spent 2 hours for in the beginning yeah we got two more of them and yet we got zero more of the thing we actually want please just make it stop god finally we can play the game again and that game is destroyer right so this thing isn’t holding up so now that we have all possible options none of them are working a preh hard mode bow still seems like the best option but the probes man the probes did that star really just miss all of them even with straight line shots we spend 12 years per fight just fighting off probes it’s just not working too many probes not enough damage well what about other arrows maybe holy arrows have to farm for those ow the stars suck that was a a bad waste of time hellfire these things explodes they can hit more than one segment oh that’s actually kind of working actually that spaces out the probes really well all right that’s the best so far we’re out of time though all right how about this each segment only has one probe so how about we draw the probes out with the explody ones then when it’s low health switch to the bat arrows for some delicious straight line shots that works except for that it sucks blah what what did I just do get me out of this [Music] you know the fun part about this i spend the first 8 minutes of every fight standing in one spot only to die immediately when it actually matters the straight lines go insane on the stupid worm but it goes insane on me too man but with practice my aim gets tighter until not a second is lost i make another hole to do some weird [ __ ] it actually like works a lot better at least 6% fine there’s two more accessories we can get oh one of them is fishing there’s one more accessory we can get we don’t have to fish we just have to kill fish for a one in 100 chance nothing comes easy does it you’re probably sick of the montages so here it is all it does is give off light which is once again useless but we can reforge it for damage i also throw a coin and shimmer and put down a gnome cuz this game has a secret luck mechanic that it tells you exactly nothing about let’s see what we do i fell seriously well this is going better [Music] why why did I go left can someone inform me why I went left i’d love to know i don’t want to talk about it why why do I panic how have we gone through a billion years of evolution and still panic 1% it’s literally the same it’s the same fight again 5% we’re still repeating history well if it’s the same as the wall at least I would win this time i That’s too many probes god damn it seems like my fate is to die right at the finish line every time eternally [Music] maybe eternity isn’t that long i don’t even feel joy just relief it’s done i’m over 29 attempts now we get an upgrade to our mini shark [Music] need to kill some sharks you can fly them now i present to you the mega shark it’s like the mini shark but better actually so much better by far our best weapon now we have two other mandatory bosses to hunt down on the same tier as the worm let’s try one of them you’d think by now I’d learned that the first try is always awful apparently we can enslave a horse to help us run faster try that out that was so much better problem is we still can’t jump despite using a minigun we have no shot at this haha now that we’ve killed the destroyer we unlock asphalt let’s try this again shall we asphalt makes you run fast asphalt makes you run absurdly fast and if I trap myself I can just recall and these are made from fish so that part should be fine we still have no way to properly jump but at least we can run [Music] somehow my setup is perfect for a bomb to hit me every goddamn time damn it well we can get life fruit now too more max health not bad at all all right let’s try the boss again nice with this momentum let’s do the twins too cool some actual progress probably could have done the same with just the horse and the recall thing with these three bosses down now we unlock turtle armor or do we we don’t have an animal themed pickaxe to mine chlorify with well that statement is true as is but what if we make an animal do the mining enter the digging mole cart which mines for you and uses the strongest pick in your inventory for it but it’s the mole that’s digging so that’s in line with the rules yeah this works weirdass mining trick but it does work also need some turtle shells and now we get to wear a turtle turtles are tough so this armor gives a ton of defense and now wielding a turtle a shark and broken legs we will fight a plant into the abyss we plunge oh oh right okay okay okay i get it okay okay okay honeymoon stage is over fine normally you can just go in a circle but we’re too slow for even that yeah it’s just wearing me down damn it i set up a bed for some more cheesy recalls look I don’t have any options all right at least the armor is really good [Music] after a lot of pain we actually scraped out phase two i forgot to finish the arena well that went great damn it damn it i found new strap for phase one i call it falling it actually works really well keeps in that one spot the whole fight nice almost full health and for phase two we walk in a straight line oh yeah this this works well it would work if I didn’t make it way too small like a dumbass but despite that yeah we win in a rare display of actual good luck we get the thing we want the wasp gun rules-wise I consider this different from summons here’s why consider the lifespan of these wasps spawn chase enemy die immediately after touching them even though they do have free will their lives are pretty damn miserable so this seems cruel enough hey why are there sirens did you actually send the police no you’re going to have to drag my hands off this keyboard if you want me to stop now I have a god to kill piss off with that there are two things left we can get actually three one of them is an accessory which once again boosts summons but we can reforge it another is the beetle armor which has even more insane defense than turtle with the amount of literally everything else we don’t have good armor is the least we can do to get that we have to fight this guy yeah in case you forgot we still suck like a lot this dumbass hook from the start of the game is somehow still my best form of movement and then the lasers come out and life gets even harder damn it kind of getting the hang of this [Music] almost got the head that time the fireballs are annoying i set up some special walls to trap them on the side voila sadly a better arena does not stop us from suffering and of course naturally I trapped myself too god damn it after bashing my head against the wall some more a lot more i realize I can just make my platform higher and suddenly the game gets a lot easier so now we can just run left and right or you know walk we don’t get to run still not perfect though but it’s a lot better next attempt goes strangely awful next attempt goes slightly less awful then 3% to phase two game’s just mocking me always but after that I remember an important life lesson sometimes faced with an enormous wall in front of you it’s better to just go around it and so I do who said I have to fight him in the temple so I just drag him back to my planter thing suddenly the boss is a lot easier when I’m not stuck in a twob block space uh yeah that’s it not even hard now cool new armor fairy defense as bad as that was before my gazillion IQ play it only gets worse from here we have one weapon left to get the bat scepter and you get it from pumpkins with a 1 in6 chance to do that we need to fight the pumpkin wave which only lasts one night and works in waves based on how much you kill so we have to clear a bunch of nonsense before the guy we want even shows up at wave 10 god at least let me dodge something well I got what I asked for all right now I hate these things bro we didn’t even get to see a pumpkin let’s try again I guess riveting gameplay all right lesson learned not just animal cruelty kill the trees too luckily dying doesn’t reset anything all right wave 10 i Are you going to give me one pumpkin hello don’t know why we waited a minute and a half but there’s one all right we still suck yay oh he leaves if I’m too far or if I die asphalt nope yeah this is pathetic course is still pretty fast to an extent well we found one strat so far running away and recall spamming damn it he left me well so begins the hyperloop and then I go too far once and he just dips all right take 70 let’s do better we do do better and all for nothing yippee again this is 1 and 16 we’re going to be here a while nothing again damn it the night ended yay nothing again damn it i lost another one i ran too far away damn it i Come on man another one bites the dust wait that’s it wow all right I guess the game’s made up for that disgusting fishing l so this is basically a better wasp gun sure great splendid even now that we’ve gotten everything we could the path to the final boss is all that awaits us that starts with a cultist no not those this one we are so pathetic this guy mostly like stands around and shoots at you our armor mostly lets us stand around and shoot at him so this goes fine kind of except for this part let’s play a game can you find the right cultist number one number two number three number four number five oh maybe blindly shooting bats like an absolute dumbass doesn’t work for this part so if you hit the wrong guy this dragon comes out and it’s way too fast for our stupid horse and way too healthy for our stupid scepter so missing is basically a game over one problem with that I’m a [ __ ] an absolute dunce so that happens often i can still die to other things too damn it wow actually died to a fireball i fell two bosses off weed in the game and I can still die to fall damage i switched to the wrong weapon god damn it all right wow that was way worse than it needed to be now we do pillars and prep for what’s to come yeah we’re going to need the asphalt so I make a really long bridge with it despite everything we still suck so we die a lot but eventually we prevail leaving us one remaining obstacle the final boss all right all right all right all right we still suck i get it made it to the final boss and our legs haven’t broken the same way since the start plan is mostly not die [Music] all right maybe we need a better plan getting a running start seems good we can use recalls to dodge the big laser still a ninja so yeah i mean we can mostly get a cycle going consisting of running left then right cuz yeah after all this time that’s still the only thing we can do also damage is [ __ ] this is 2 minutes into the fight not really much left to show from the first phase oh yeah there’s more phases we’ll get to that i How am I alive the way this fight works is he has eyes on his head and hands when you kill an eye it comes out and starts teaching me the true meaning of pain each eye will do this independently and each one has an attack cycle that independently starts when you pop it out so they can be very out of sync very chaotic very bad so that’s how the next attempt goes and that one and that one oh by dumb luck we killed the third eye so now we have to kill the heart um how I like come up well this is a problem all right what if we like make gaps maybe no this doesn’t this sucks what if we like hammer this [ __ ] what’s that like slightly better i don’t know we’ll try it and then we died before the heart twice twice fine if it’s going to be rare let’s perfect the setup what about bigger gaps ah it’s still pretty bad see if we can make it work I guess all right we got there dude this is not working ouch and we could do a tiny bit of damage but have I mentioned the tongue heals him each of those things gives him a,000 health back if I don’t kill them tiny bit isn’t enough all right this is stupid let’s just make a long platform and use the horse and then we can not even make it back to the heart again again again again dude what sort of black magic did I pull out of my ass those first few tries again again all right fine let’s do something different let’s kill all the eyes at once so they’re all synced up we just shoot upwards cuz the head is the hardest to kill apparently you can recall to make the tongue go away so you can’t heal i’ve gotten pretty good at phase one so this goes fine and it works it also makes it take 28 minutes but it does work then I die immediately well that sucks all right let’s make a platform so we can run left too a really long one maybe a second layer so we can like jump you know each row is like 2,000 platforms that’s a lot of holding left click all right another 25 minutes and nothing luckily you don’t have to go through that but I do well we still can’t really jump i Damn put down another 6,000 platforms I guess oh great that’s useful surely five rows must be enough there go another 25 minutes of my life and I didn’t even get to the good part nothing to do but try again here we stand at the edge of the abyss ow ow ow ow ow ow wait this run is actually better until we hit the edge [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] damn it this is not the time to get stuck [Music] seems like the eyes get further away each cycle wow they can barely hit me now we’re just not in danger anymore this may be it then after 33 hours of pure torture with eight of those into Moonlord alone riding a horse wearing a beetle holding a puffer fish shooting a bat after all that cruelty all the pain we’ve inflicted to attain our goals we’ve done it we’ve beaten the game hey I beat it tell the cops whatever you want now fbi open up so uh I may not be a free man much longer but at least you get the challenge was it worth it probably not

mission: beat terraria with only animal (items)

hilarity (and pain) ensues

anti-peta challenge haha

RULES
1. animals (real-life animals – no monsters or mythical things; live animals, or whole animals like their skins for armor, so nothing that’s e.g. just heads)
2. cruelty (animals mostly shouldn’t have free will, and/or our usage must be cruel throughout)

most types of items are under restriction – namely, weapons, armor, accessories, tools, potions

notably, summons & wings are blocked by these, and various other strong items

document with stuff:
– the full list of allowed items
– music used
– quality of life mods
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oc-kau7rCUxSjNL5YZHKFa8KrayDnl2gZ7nPtQODX3o/edit?usp=sharing

more algo-friendly prose: our challenge is to beat terraria with only animal items. rules are in the spirit of animal cruelty, restricting various items to make the challenge harder and more thematic. gameplay ends up incredibly hard, taking dozens of attempts for some bosses.